Never Give Up! Set A Boundary. Have Some Fun

Parents of children (of any age) with a mental health, alcohol or other drug problem can hang onto hope for a very long time. Some never give up. And good on them! Hope is well worth hanging onto because change is possible. But the tricky thing about this scenario is that change is possible if and when someone wants to change. And this is where things can come unstuck. Because the person with the mental health, alcohol or other drug problem may not be ready to change. And even if they are ready to change well, change takes time, lots of time, with stops and starts along the way. So the best thing parents can do in this situation is to put the focus on themselves. If we put the focus on us th

Shame on Alcohol and Drugs

Shame is an awful feeling. It fills our body and mind and creates a situation where talking about things like alcohol and other drug problems is not allowed. And we usually stay silent due to shame. It's as if alcohol and drugs have aligned with shame and become best friends against us. Shame can stop us speaking out about drug and alcohol problems unless behind closed doors. "Keep it in the family " whispers Shame, "we can sort this out". Meanwhile Shame, alcohol and other drugs are dancing around having a great time together. They have lots of dirty tricks to keep us under their power and control. All I can say to this is "shame on Shame and alcohol and other drugs". Not shame on the perso

Just Separate the Person from the Drugs

It sounds so easy doesn't it? Just separate the person from the problem (alcohol or other drugs) and everything will be OK. Well actually this is something family members can do. How? We can put the focus on us. We can change our thinking and our conversations. And we can stop blurring alcohol and other drugs with the people we care about who are misusing substances. For example, we might think he's an addict, a drunk, a druggy, a dealer. Or, she's a user, a junky, a liar, a thief (even as I write these words they sound harsh and divisive). Now we all know that when alcohol and other drugs become a problem the person who is misusing tries to hide the problem, keeps secrets and says and does

Drug and Alcohol Misuse - "Just Fix It Please"

Family members who seek help for alcohol or other drug problems just want the problem fixed and fixed quickly. But the problem with these types of problems is that there are no quick fixes. If there were then we would have solved the problem of alcohol and drug dependency and there wouldn't be a need for services or health professionals trying to solve this problem. It's important to remember that drug and alcohol problems are complex, can be tangled up with mental illness and have been around forever. Behaviour change also takes time and it's a bumpy ride with stops and starts along the way. And, the recovery journey is different for everyone. If only we could 'just fix it'. But hang in th

Prisons: Where There's a Will There's a Way

I was so inspired recently when I saw what the Netherlands are doing to close their prisons due to lack of prisoners! Check out the following link to see how the Netherlands are dealing with crime in a humanistic way. They have even started renting out their prison cells to Belgium because of how they changed the way they view offenses in their court system. I'm ever hopeful that Australia and New Zealand will become as sensible as the Netherlands! https://qz.com/644914/the-netherlands-keeps-having-to-close-its-prisons-due-to-lack-of-prisoners/

Alcohol and Drugs are all Consuming...If We Let Them Be

There is no doubt that alcohol and other drugs can become all consuming for the person dependent on these substances. But what is worth remembering is that alcohol and other drugs can also become all consuming to family members. In my view, alcohol and other drugs want to take everyone down with them and it's so easy for this to happen, if we let it. Family members desperate to understand and help their loved ones to stop using can become obsessed with alcohol or other drugs. They can think about how much is being used? When it's being used? How often it's being used? Where it's being used? Who it's being used with? Why it's being used? What's being used? And then there is the worst case sce

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Created by: Hunt Solutions "Problem Solving Together"